Will moving away for a year and coming back traumatize my kid?
Throwaway account because my friends/family don’t know about this yet.
In 2023, we lost my mom and I (30F), have had custody of my little sisters, now 11 and 18, ever since. My job has a lot of opportunity for growth and travel but I put that on hold since I got the girls so they could remain in their school district and so we could heal together.
I was offered an opportunity to work in New York City from August 2026–August 2027 and have to give them an answer by next week. It includes an allowance to pay partial housing fees and we would be able to live in the city. Both the girls want to go. We would also be bringing our dog, cat, and rabbit, and would return home at the end of the 12 months. I have one friend who knows about the possibility and would want to rent our house from me while we’re gone. We don’t have family in New York but we don’t really have family here at home, either.
My 18 year old is taking a gap year and wanted to work and experience a new place, anyway, so I’m not worried about her. I am worried about my 11 year old. She is so excited about the possibility of living in NYC and has made a bucket list of Broadway shows and places to see. She’s a theater kid and I’d love to get her into a really good acting class that offers more than the classes in our smaller city do. She’s super outgoing and makes friends everywhere. But I’m afraid with her age it hasn’t sunk in what it will mean to be gone for a whole year. 11-12 is such a hard age and I’m afraid she’ll look back when she’s older and see the trauma of moving away, losing friends, and coming back a year later and trying to start over, and resent me for doing it to her. I have talked to her a lot about it and she says it will be an adventure but she’s lost so much already that I’m just so worried.
Did anyone growing up have a similar experience? How do I know she’ll be okay?