Views on Infidelity in France
I am an American and have been studying in France for the past 5 months on a semester abroad experience (so not exactly an expat) and have been dating a French girl for about 3 of these months. Recently we were watching a show that dealt with a marriage where one character was cheating on their spouse and we began talking about different perspectives on infidelity.
In my (maybe American) perspective, I explained that I found adultery completely intolerable and that it is morally wrong and dangerous (in the sense where you can expose someone to STDs unconsensually). She agreed slightly but argued that it is possible to love 2 people at the same time and that it is less ostracized in France. I asked if she would tell her friend if she was being cheated on by their boyfriend (something I would do) and she said that she would first ask the boyfriend’s perspective and then ask her friend if she would want to be told if they were being cheated on. I honestly thought this was a bit ridiculous (like who would say no to that?) and told her that I think that is not being a good friend. She also said that her Mother told her that if she knew her daughter was being cheated on, she wouldn't tell her. Now at this point I was pretty upset, because I think that is kind of insulting. And I made a big enough point of that just being disrespectful to your own daughter. (She told me later on that she talked to her Mom and she walked back those statements)
Now I am not worried about her cheating on me, but I can’t say I am a big fan of this mindset. I am curious if this is something you have noticed in French society among friends. I had traditionally thought the idea of French adultery is some sort of Anglo stereotype of French people. But maybe not?