S26 E12: Calculated
I took a long break from SVU and just recently started watching again, I made it to season 26 and had to take a pause at episode 12. Im a parent to two kids on the spectrum, one needs very little help and one needs 24/7 supervision, and this episode hit me extremely hard, to the point where I was in tears. My oldest is the one who requires a lot of help, and not a day goes by where I’m not worried about their future. Right now they’re a kid, and when you’re a disabled kid everyone “understands”, but once you become an adult it’s like everyone suddenly expects you to no longer be disabled. Matthew has the mentality of a child with the body of an adult, I don’t believe he had any intent and was solely there to meet an online friend. Was it okay that he showed up? No, but he didn’t know that. My oldest is only 6 and will run into the middle of a busy street when eloping. Don’t most 6 year olds know that isn’t safe by then? My 3 year old does and will tell me it isn’t safe, but not their older sibling. My oldest lacks safety awareness and i have been trying for years to teach them what is and isn’t safe and it still isn’t clicking. What happened to Matthew is one of my biggest fears. Im terrified of my child being in a situation that they cannot cognitively comprehend and making the wrong choices because they don’t know what to do. Also, is just me or did Carisi just come off as heartless? Ever since he became an ADA, I just feel like he isn’t as empathetic as he once was and that was something I really liked about him and now I’m yelling “f*ck off” at him because he seems to have no empathy for Matthew. I really appreciate Benson and detective Sylva in this episode, I know this is TV, but I really hope both my children encounter good people. We have no idea if either of our kids will be able to take care of themselves and stay safe as adults, that’s years from now, and that alone is a terrifying thought. I use to cry myself to sleep as a teenager, hoping I wouldn’t wake up the next day; now I cry because I know one day I will and my kids will be without me.
I just needed to vent. This episode was difficult for me.