I’m a mid forties forever alone woman
I’ve never held hands, kissed, had sex or even been on a date with a guy. People would always tell me “you’re still young, you’ll meet someone when you least expect it!” It’s never happened and I doubt it ever will at my age.
Guys never show interest in me because I’m hideously ugly and socially inept. On dating sites, I never get any matches unless it’s a bot or scammer. I’m literally the ONLY single person in my family. Even my younger cousins are getting married, buying housing and having kids. I feel like I’m so behind on life. I’ve always dreamed of the day when I could have my first kiss and someday get married and start a family but it looks like I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. Even my family has given up on me and says I should learn to be happy being alone. I’m NOT happy. I want someone to hold me when I’m sad and someone to do fun things with. I don’t even have any friends because of my poor social skills.
Therapy hasn’t helped me. I don’t think they know how to help me. They keep suggesting joining clubs and meetups but I’ve tried that. They don’t get that no one wants to be friends with an ugly girl. Even forever alone guys aren’t interested in me!
One time my neighbor tried to set me up with her friend’s son who was a few years younger than me and also had autism. She kept saying how excited he was to meet me. The day came and I can’t forget how disappointed he looked when he actually saw me. My neighbor and her friend kept trying to encourage him to hang out with me and same with my parents but he kept making excuses. I’m pretty sure it was because of how ugly I am. I have NEVER been called pretty by anyone except family and elderly women.
I really wish I could win the lottery so I could get plastic surgery to actually look decent. I hate my parents for giving me these awful genes.