Do I give studying abroad a chance or do I stay in my miserable job?
Hi everyone!
I(22F) am currently working in a Big 4 as an assurance associate. I've been working here for around 7 months now and have successfully survived my first busy season. It was tough but I know I did well and am expecting my feedback to be positive.
I know I am doing well here, and I know I have a great career trajectory if I stay in audit. However, after the busy season I realized that I don't want to work in audit anymore. I plan on being a qualified ACCA and being in this job makes it extremely hard to find a balance with studying and work. During the busy season, I barely had enough time to even take bath. I do find audit interesting in theory but 70% goes into formatting the workpapers I prepare. Everyone keeps telling me it will get easier if I become a senior, but I don't want to be stuck here for that long.
My manager thought I was performing so well that he personally plotted me onto another major client and although this sounds like a great opportunity, all that's running through my mind is how I am meant to survive another busy season with a bigger client.
My pay is also extremely mediocre in comparison to the hours I work. I know this is because of the awful employee turnover and understand the company's perspective, but I also know that I am being exploited. At one point, I remember working close to 17 hours every day for an entire week with no overtime pay.
Money isn't everything and I know I am extremely privileged to have family that support me. But I see my parents growing older and I don't want my father to have to keep providing for us.
I've seen the way my manager works and all I can think of is how I do not care enough about this job. At least not in the way he does. There was a point where I got yelled at for not explaining a merged cell was merged in a note and all I could think of was that I didn't give shit about any of this.
The only thing that runs through my mind is how unhappy I am right now and that if I am unhappy now, I most likely won't be happy in the future. It has always been my dream to move abroad but given how competitive it is, I'm scared that all my efforts will be for nothing and I will end up spending so much money only to move back home to India.
I don't even know what advice I am seeking on here. I just feel so helpless right now. I'm terrified that my parents will slowly start bringing up marriage and although, I know they'd never force me, they can be quite persistent.
I don't know how to move forward from here to make my goals come true.