u/AshyRose777

I just want to apologise to everyone who viewed my loss of appetite post. I realised it was actually inappropriate to post and word it the way I did. I am not promoting starvation.

I am at a fine line bewteen engaging with eating disorder behaviours still, but recieving professional recovery counselling every week.

I was just saying that right now I have to supplement most of meals with Fortisip equivalents for my body's needs.

I am genuinely sorry to this community for my insensitivity.

Hope you are all taking care 💗

I don't know if I ready mentally to recover, but I don't want to be this way forever. I'm 25 and it's embarrassing that I've relapsed worse than I've ever have.

I've been seeing my therapist weekly on zoom for over a year and a half. She's honestly the best. She's trauma informed and treats eating disorder clients.

How have you lovelies in recovery overcome your disordered thoughts? How do I recover when I feel like it's not worth it for me?

I think about this alot and I've come to the conclusion that I feel more comfortable in my misery than I do being happy and healthy. Co morbid mental illness diagnosis and an eating disorder is a bad combination. It makes it harder for me to change my mindset.

I'm losing alot of hair right now and it's very triggering.

I get really anxious everytime I brush my hair. Seeing all the hair fallout in my hairbrush makes me feel miserable.

I really love my hair. It's always been on the thinner hair texture side, but still pretty long in length. It makes me feel more feminine.

My support worker even says she can tell my hair is thinning. I appreciate her honesty and she's always real with me. She comes to my GP appointments weekly and dietician appointments. She's seen the cruel decline in my health from January this year.

I have a pretty big scar from a head injury on my right side of my head and now with my hair loss it's getting more visible and I can't cover it. My hair has always been thinner on that side since the surgery.

My thoughts between eating disorder brain and logical thinking seem to switch pretty quickly..like a metronome.

I don't know how people push through recovery.

I feel like I'm trying to pull self compassion out of a dried up well.

I feel 100% uglier. It was never about my looks anyway.

Lately I've really loss interest in food.

Most of my diet consists of Fortisip drinks just to make sure I'm getting my vitamins and minerals.

Food is not very enjoyable anymore.

I'm doing my best to stay out of inpatient by having the drinks.

I don't mind it that much because it makes deciding on what to eat easier for me, but I know long term it might not be the best.