I’m leaving and feel like a fool
I’ve been at this agency for nearly a decade. I’ve held hair while people puked, held their hands during scary procedures, and while they died. I started as DSP, managed some houses, community access, was a job coach, and am leaving my current position as a QA Coordinator. I’m so lost and can’t find other comparable work. The pay always sucked until the last couple years but the people are incredible. I just… staff are miserable, participants are miserable, and I’ve done everything I can to make it better and it just isn’t working. I’m so burnt out, management is toxic, nobody wants to change, and I’m sick over it. I’m not sure what the point of this post is, I just needed to get this out somewhere. Idk how I’m gonna tell the clients. We’ve been through so much, probably too much, together, and I feel like I’m letting them down. But I don’t have anything left in me. My mental health is in the ground, my meds don’t seem to be working, and I don’t want to leave, but this isn’t sustainable. Idk if it’s like this everywhere but if it is, please don’t let yourself get to this point. I’ve accidentally filled a void for several participants I had no business filling & now they’re gonna be worse off for it than had I never shown up. This sucks.