My evaluator thinks I may have Social Pragmatic Communication Disorder. I think autism makes more sense. How can I make sense of this? (Needing advice)
I had a meeting with my evaluator to discuss my results a few days ago, and the appointment went a lot different than I expected. I was tested for ADHD and ASD, and was not only told that I didn’t have ADHD, but that I also fell short of meeting the necessary criteria for anxiety disorder and depression—two things I absolutely cannot fathom NOT having as I have been struggling mentally for a very, very long time. (Essentially, because I’m not having panic attacks and don’t want to end myself, I’m probably not anxious or depressed?) As I was struggling with understanding what she was telling me, she also told me that while I had social/communication differences and notable sensory issues, I didn’t have enough rigid/repetitive behaviors to fully meet the criteria for ASD.
Instead, she believes I may have social anxiety and SPCD (essentially just the communication part of autism), and thinks a lot of my struggles not explained by those disorders have to do with my above-average IQ (as intelligent people tend to have a hard time being happy). None of these explain why I stim as much as a do (mine are subtle but constant), have a very difficult time dealing with changing/unknown plans (which make me very distressed even if I am able to “push through”), my fixed interests (I may not have had a lifelong special interest, but the level of fixation I put toward my interests is definitely not typical), and my sensory issues (particularly involving sound and touch). I believe I absolute fit B1 and B4, and can understand that maybe my symptoms are not severe enough for B2 and B3, but regardless, I thought only two of the four categories needed to be fulfilled, so I suppose I just don’t really understand why I DON’T fit that criteria.
I don’t want to act as if I know more than a professional, but I have a very hard time accepting that I do not have any of the sensory issues or rigidity present in ASD when they do exist and do have an impact on my life. Maybe I don’t show it, but they are there (I provided her with a 13 page document of my symptoms and life experience for this reason).
My diagnoses are not official yet, as her supervisor will make the final call and let me know in a week what I do and don’t have. Even so, I don’t know how to cope with the information I was told and how it only seems to explain one side of me. Not only was I told I don’t have depression, but SPCD only explains half of the traits I actually have while ASD explains them all. Is there something I’m missing? I’m just not sure anymore.
Has anyone else had an experience like this?