u/Artemvi

Friday evening. Wanted to chill a bit after a long work week. Maybe some Netflix?
Oh! A new series, "Man on Fire." There was a decent movie by that name in 2004 with Denzel Washington. So, I put it on. And what do we have? A guy sitting at a computer wearing tactical gloves and a backwards baseball cap. And he has a dedicated monitor displaying a giant CIA logo. Fuck me. I grab a paper bag just in case. Somehow, I hold it together.
First episode ends on [no spoilers].
So what's next? 10 minutes into Episode 2. A convoy of 3 Mitsubishi Pajeros is flying down the street. The streets look absolutely nothing like Rio. Why? Because they filmed it in Mexico. Sure, the Pajero is basically the Brazilian equivalent of black Suburban (or Escalade) - it's a status symbol. True, nice detail. But they haven't even manufactured Pajero since 2021. Whatever...
Then we get to this scene.
**Main Character (MC):** "What did you see?"
**Girl:** "I saw a white van!"
Wow, solid lead right there! (Lmao, Jesus, a white van with no markings — what a definitive clue).
**MC:** "Was it a new van or an old one?" (What??)
**Girl:** "Uhh, new."
MC walks over to his buddies: "Get me photos of all the white vans from the last five years." (WHAAAAT??)
Let's skip the bizarre interrogation process the MC uses to drag this info out of the girl. "Point to the van you saw. Look and point, don’t think, remember!" What? That is a direct quote! Who the fuck wrote this dialogue?
There are 4 photos of white vehicles on the table, two of which don't even look like vans... Okay, fine. She picks one.
And then she drops this: "Oh, there was also a motorcyclist. And he lifted his visor for a split second. And I saw his face..."
I have one simple question: You managed to clearly see a motorcyclist's face in the dark? But you completely missed the giant-ass Mercedes star on the front of the van?! You're an American, do you seriously not know what a Mercedes logo looks like?
I get that you filmed in Mexico and probably just grabbed the first van you could find. There is a million of these vans in Rio because they were produced locally, but the van on screen is an old, extended Sprinter that's at least 20 years old! But whatever, it’s Netflix. The MC walks out to his crew and says: *"We should pull the traffic and security cameras in the area from the morning. Maybe we get not only a sighting but a plate."*
Fuuuck, what was the point of the entire previous scene then?! The girl tells you she saw a white van, you fetch photos of new white vans to help her remember exactly which one, and *after* she makes her pick of an old Sprinter, THAT'S when you decide it's a good time to check the footage from cameras ?!
Who are the underdeveloped cucumbers writing these Netflix scripts? I couldn't even yell this at the screen because I was gripping my paper bag for dear life. Solid win for Netlfix. I’m not going to watch the rest of this trash.
Good night!