u/ArjunTheRealist

If human progress is a myth, romantic love is an illusion, and my mother and sister are evil just like Nietzsche's. What the fuck do I live for? I want to become a music composer and I'm a high school dropout but the path just seems hellish. Because to make money from music, I would have to compose music that is heard by the masses or at least by some good amount of people and it requires a lot of networking, luck and just very little talent. I'm 20 years old and I have been depressed for the last 7 years already, the rest of my life looks like preparing to step in a battlefield with a stick while the rest are carrying rifles. Not to mention I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder but I completely disagree with the diagnosis. I have now completely lost hope of becoming a music composer and I don't have any love for my mother and sister, they are just too controlling and the way they treat me is just indescribable. I have been a loner my entire life, I do not have any friends nor do I have any girlfriend. And I have been becoming very misogynist lately partly because of my relationship with my mother and sister. I'm now becoming a nihilist gradually and Schopenhauer is looking very nice from this perspective, I'm now thinking of abstaining from life. No one listens to classical music anymore, they don't have the brains to see that most psychiatry is just controlling and institutionalising, women really are stupid and there is very little beauty in the world.