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Do you ever feel like you're just going along with what comes to you? Like the intensity when you first meet someone is what keeps it together and as soon as the intensity is gone you start to question how genuine it is. Liking someone because they like you or show interest in you, how genuine is it to reciprocate that back. Where does their influence end and my own feelings begin. It's so blatantly obvious as well that they could call it out
Where are my wants and desires? At what point am I not just trying to fit into the box someone else wants me to. How can I sort out my own wants when wanting to fit into the image someone else has of me is so overwhelmingly loud. I always get into relationships maybe half heartedly, them liking me pretty much the entire basis for my feelings and at some point I feel like I wake up and realize that. But I don't learn, I continue the same cycle letting the excitement carry me away and trick me because when I actually ask myself what I like about the person I draw blanks. Sure there are some things I can name that are nice about the person, but they don't seem like genuine answers.