u/Are-Nahi-Bhai

I'm 29(M) and my girlfriend 27,met 1 year ago through a mutual friend, we instantly clicked and started dating in 2 months.we have fought,loved each other in every situation. I would say we fight alot but then we end up loving and understanding each other. I am Engineer earning 25LPA and she is also engineer earning 6LPA. WE baitha have informed our parents that we want to marry and my parents are Ok with it m,her family is not fully convinced as I'm earning less,I am dark in color, our house is not so great according to them, they have 5floor home and we have normal 3 bhk. My father is civil engineer in private company without any certification ( everyone know how back in the days anyone can get into construction line) so he earns 70k per month.I send 20k every month to my parents because they need it as most my father money goes to the ghar kharcha and loan. She has a problem ki why do I send them money even when my father is earning, her point is I can open FD on my Father name, this is not wrong but when I spoke to my father the same he said ki paise nahi bachte FD kya karunga yahi hath me bhej diye kar, and the same thing I informed her ki no I have to send her and I clearly informed these points to her in the beginning ki i send money and I will send.no she has a problem living with my parents too. She says she needs to spend time with me in initial phase of marriage so she can't stay with my parents for initial 3-4 years. She always degrade me saying ki i have no savings that is true though but I have already started doing that saved more than 3 lacs in last 6month and I told her we'll be able to save much more in upcoming years. But she says everyone saves but I don't. Now she says she can't stay in rented flat or room so she want me to buy our own flat in next 2 years and same thing was told by her parents to me. So her brother who is 35 i think,qa engineer has already bought house 2bhk in bangalore of 55lac when he was single, so she and her family always compares ki ho my bhaiyaa was able to get the house and I haven't.i always tell her ki not everyone financial situation are same and allow to buy house that early. I was helping my family in rough time and helped my family to run home.Now comes the interesting part before her I was trying on one girl who she knows and how mad I was for that girl. And now she is getting married now my gf always show my her picture and reels and says look her how happy she is and I always tell her to not to show me her picture and reels because I don't want to. She thinks I still like/love that girl and tell me to go back to her. Idiot this is not film when I'm with you why would I think of anyother girl. She always share the reels of couples and then imagine herself like that I tell her to be in real world rather than scrolling reels and compare our life to theirs. She is very overthinker some time I get annoyed by her words and stupid questions.yesterday we had a fight because she was showing me a reels of the girl I was mad at and how happy she is with her husband and she says he really loves her and he adore her. I say even I love you but she says no I don't and always compares me to other man.

She lacks the determination and always lives in her imaginary world. I tell her all the time switch your job as she is in same company for 4 years and whenever I tell her we fight. She says I don't support her in career, once I told her to update her resume she says she doesn't have energy and I told ki ye to tum hi karogi na so she shifts all the blame on me saying how other bf and husband helps their partner in studying and career and I can't even help her in resume.i did updated points in her resume and gave her, but how can I know what she is working and not,it should come from her na.she says ki i demean her because I earn more than her but this is not the case I never did that and will never do,why would I. She seems to have a problem in everything I tell her to do for her we'll being.

Sometime I feel like calling off and tell both parents that I don't want to marry but she is very emotional and kind hearted.she loves me alot and want to see me getting more successful, she fights with her parents for me ,she fought her friend for me and now she doesn't have anyone's to talk except me, she is alone and I feel guilty when I fight with her.

Also forgot to add she also says all the time that I don't match her parents criteria to be a husband for her as I don't earn much I have dark skin and I don't own my house and I have parents dependency. She was getting rishta of much better family. Her parents want a govt sasur for her so that her sasur gets his pension and my gf and her husband shouldn't have to send any money to her family l.

Help me what to do, am I wrong and then in which part and how can I improve myself and also I would like to understand any female POV too. I wanna live with her but no in the first of fighting every week on the same topic