Being an autistic Hellenist is hard...
So I haven't really mentioned this here, but I'm autistic. Which means that I usually take things very literally, and much more serious than I usually need to. This, in turn, has made committing to Hellenism a constant maze of questions and a need to ensure I'm doing things correctly.
It also doesn't help that I was raised in a Christian style upbringing with school assemblies having prayers, doing Scouts in a local church, reciting hymns during my childhood, the "Scout Church Parade" we did often, and trips to the local churches with my classes. So it's been difficult to break out of what I was taught as a child. This is why I'm always second guessing myself when it comes to Hellenism
"Am I doing this right?"
"Will this offend the gods?"
"Am I following the teachings correctly?"
"Did I just piss off Hades?"
"Will this result in miasma?"
"Did I just screw up the offering?"
"What happens if I stammer during a prayer?"
This is what makes it difficult for me to really stick to Hellenism because I'm always questioning my actions. I mean, sure I do prayers to Hades in the cemetery whenever I visit my mother's grave, and I always ensure I bring a libation offering (usually because the cemetery doesn't allow food near the graves, as it brings unwelcome wildlife). But it's also the home worship too. I'm just so anxious about doing it vocally that I usually leave the prayers until I actually go to the cemetery, where it feels much less awkward, especially with my dad who STILL doesn't understand Hellenism.
It's why, as many users have seen from me, I'm always asking questions that seem silly. I just want to ensure what I do isn't offensive, as it would be to the Christian religion I was basically raised around. I have tried to make it a routine, but it's just been difficult as I've tried to plan EVERY SINGLE DETAIL properly, to ensure my worship of the gods is as in line as it can be.