Did my Ex cheat?
As of recent my ex (m/26) broke up with me (f/26) around two months ago, we were together for 6.5 years. Honestly I loved the relationship, we had ups and downs but I genuinely loved him with all my heart. I though everything was going go then he randomly broke up with me.
To start when i felt the shift was when he told me he was falling out of love with school and work around mid January, I asked if he wanted to look into therapy maybe that’ll help or if he wanted to have more time for himself we can lessen our hangouts together. Which i suggested because he had an incredibly jam packed schedule he would be awake around 4:30am get to work at 5 be there until 2-2:30pm then get home to nap. Then wake up again at 4:40-5 to drive an hour to school, have school at 6-9:30 takes an hour to drive back everyday basically. He’s been having this schedule for around two years now. But he was adamant in still spending time together and being together. Which i appreciated but I was concerned about him over excreting himself.
Then February rolls around he took me out on so many dates and places I’ve always talked about going he was more attentive and loving this time. Which i took as a sign we were getting on a good track he was gonna finish school this year. Then the last week of February hits, we went to an outdoor event with friends we were out all day in the sun. When we got home I wanted to be playful and started to wrestle with him (not intercourse actual wrestling) it went on for a bit he said he was getting tired and i just wanted to tease him a bit longer but then he suddenly just forcefully throws me on the bed and firmly says, “I’m getting overstimulated!” Before going to lay down on the bed. I was a bit shocked cause he’s never been like that he said he was having heat exhaustion so i got him ice and we just remained to ourselves for the night.
The next day there was an account he had been following for a while that was on my suggested (the suggested came up in January) which wasn’t the issue the issue came up when the same person came up in a separate account saying they were 19 and i doubled checked it was the same person. And I had asked him if he knew them giving the benefit of the doubt he said he didn’t know who they were that they followed him so he followed back. I didn’t like that cause why is a grown man following a 19 year old they don’t know, and why are you just following random people. Then suddenly he changed his answer to, “ Oh i asked my boss and she said she’s a waitress in the cafe upstairs.” And i called him out that his switch up was weird, cause it all happened within a span of 10 minutes. Then he turned it around on me saying, “You have male coworkers you follow and i don’t say anything.” Which is true yes but i don’t just follow any of my coworkers like I’ve had coworkers who I haven’t spoken to in person but only requested to follow me I didn’t accept cause if you don’t know me well enough to know about my relationship you shouldn’t follow me on IG. Which I told him, I gave him the benefit of the doubt that it was a coworker but when i went to his boss’ IG she wasn’t following said account.
Then the rest of the week he was short with messages telling me he was gonna go to the beach all of sudden, and any time I would have phone calls with him he’d be not interested. I was ranting to him about the small things that happened at work, and he just tells me, “Sounds like you need therapy cause you can’t handle the small things.” Which hurt I can acknowledge i need therapy but like to say that when I’m just ranting did hurt a lot. That’s when i knew the break up would probably come up cause a man doesn’t just get mean out of no where.
More things pile up on him being disinterested, then he comes by for our usual thing and he tells me. He wants to breakup (March 1) cause he’s fallen out of love with me. Which if it was the case I can’t control that and I asked for clarification like “did something happen is there someone else?” He said no, then tells me he’s been out of love since January, which confused me cause why tell me now? Then he said, “I just can’t love myself now so i can’t properly love you.” Then i got more concerned cause if its mental health i definitely don’t want to just leave you stranded. However he was adamant about being friends, which i said no to at first, then i honestly begged to save our relationship. But he did just leave saying well talk later, never happened i spent two weeks checking in on him asking him what he was thinking he would just say, “I’m getting my thoughts together.”
Two weeks later around 1am something told me to call him I did and girl picked up the phone she asked “why are you calling him? You shouldn’t be calling him.” I took that as my answer then he was blowing up my phone saying he was at a party and that he didn’t know who that was a girl must’ve played prank. I didn’t wanna believe him but all of this was so out of character for him so I wanted to give him grace. I agreed to being friends, which lasted for two days then i retracted and said i wanted space and I wish him well.
We haven’t spoken since but he did dm (April 1st) me a video game hack then added it to our collections tab we shared, which i deleted the tabs and message cause if you wanna reach out reach out properly. I haven’t heard from him since be he did view my story from my highlights beginning of May. And recently my sister told me he repost the song 25 to life by Eminem and Apologize by One Republic.
I’m still confused mainly cause I’m like wtf and like you broke up with me why are you viewing my things (I unfollowed him and removed him as a follow after he did other shady stuff a couple of days after the breakup). Like I have a huge feeling he did cheat at least emotionally before the breakup but it’s all so out of character for him even now how hes acting. His family and friends were all shocked about the breakup too. I’ll be more than willing to give extra info.