I don’t really know how to summarize everything, but I just need to let this out and maybe hear from someone who has been through something similar.
I was induced at 37 weeks due to gestational diabetes. Labor was long and scary my baby’s heart rate kept dropping and rising, and I needed oxygen. I got stuck at 5 cm with no progress and ended up having a C-section.
After surgery, I was completely out of it, shaking, exhausted, barely able to function, and my husband had to take over everything with the baby. My baby needed formula, jaundice monitoring, and blood sugar checks while I was trying to recover. By that point, my milk hadn't come in.
I was discharged even though I told them I felt like I had a fever. Six hours later, I was back in the ER with my baby. They sent me to a postpartum room, and then my colostrum started to come in. But I was hooked up to a bunch of IVs for antibiotics, and I ended up having a post-op wound infection and needed a wound vac.
(I remember my doctor told me it was safe to breastfeed my baby, but I was so scared to pass something to him.)
Since then it’s been baby blues, antibiotics twice now, wound care, and just trying to keep up with everything.
Breastfeeding has been really hard. My supply is very low (PCOS + everything my body has been through), and pumping honestly makes me feel like I’m failing every time I see how little I produce compared to what my baby needs.
I’m trying to heal and take care of my baby at the same time, but I feel overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted. I love my baby more than anything, but I also feel a lot of grief for how everything went.
If anyone has been through a traumatic birth, infection, or struggled with breastfeeding like this… I would really appreciate hearing from you. Even just knowing I’m not alone would help a lot right now.