This is the first three chapters of my book I am working on, its grimdark, syfy fantasy, and military. I am looking for general advice, I do plan on pubishing it when I am done, currently on the 11th chapter of book 1. Put I am not doing it for money or anything like that I just want to share my story and ideas with the world! I really only used AI for the first round of editing and grammar correction as well as creating a naming system (Suck at naming stuff lol) I also world build while I write so I know there prolly is some inconstancies I will have to fix. So let me know if you like it!

I attached it as a link cause work count. The Long Vigil Sample doc

I’m working on a sci-fi setting where I wanted something like a “power system,” but without it feeling like fantasy magic. The idea is called Noesis:

It’s a controlled interaction between the human mind and a parallel layer of reality (“the Veil”)

It’s measurable, partially genetic, and dangerous

Most people only have low-level effects (intuition, awareness). Higher-level users can influence perception, force, or reality in limited ways

It’s heavily regulated by the state because misuse leads to corruption

Important part:

The Imperium does NOT treat it as mystical it treats it like a tool, a risk, and a potential security threat.

Does this still feel grounded, or does it drift too far into fantasy?