[WP] Table for One
God, why does sadness know my name?
Why does each night still feel the same?
Traded my body just for heat,
Yet loneliness still sleeps with me.
Traded skin to quiet pain,
To feel alive, to feel again,
But after every touch would fade,
I’d still be cold, still unafraid—
Afraid that maybe this is all,
A heart that breaks, but never falls
Into the arms it’s longing for,
A love that stays, not leaves the door.
I sit alone at tables dim,
While laughter dances past my skin.
I watch the couples pass me by,
Their fingers laced, their smiling eyes.
And God, I wonder quietly,
Why love looks good on everyone but me.
They tell me, “Learn to love yourself,”
As if my heart sits on a shelf,
As if it’s easy to embrace
The lonely person in my place.
But God, how do I love this soul
When half of me feels like a hole?
How do I hold myself so tight
When all I do is lose the fight?
How do I silence every fear
That whispers, “No one stays sincere”?
Truthfully, I just miss the light.
I miss my smile that felt so bright.
I miss the version I once knew
Before the storms, before I grew
Into somebody tired and numb,
Still waiting for his time to come.
And maybe… maybe I miss her too.
The way she made the gray skies blue.
If love is written still somewhere,
Would fate allow us to repair?
Or is she just a painful page
That time will keep but never change?
God, when will it be my turn
To feel a love that doesn’t burn?
When will the sun reach where I stand?
When will life hold my trembling hands?
When will my grass turn green once more
Instead of drought upon the floor?
Will I smile like those I see,
The ones who walk so carelessly?
Will I laugh without pretending?
Will broken things have worthy endings?
Life moves faster every day,
And somehow I get swept away.
I run and run to keep the pace,
But time still wins the endless race.
The world keeps spinning, unconcerned,
While I’m still healing from the burns.
And I know life will never pause
For aching hearts or human flaws.
The clock moves on, the seasons change,
And nothing ever stays the same.
But God, if You are listening still,
Please tell me sadness doesn’t kill
The chance that I might love again,
The chance that joy still calls my name.
Tell me one day I’ll finally see
A softer life waiting for me.
That one day loneliness will end,
And peace will find my heart again.
And maybe then, beneath the skies,
The pain will fade, the tears will dry.
And I will smile—not forced, not blue—
But with a heart that made it through.