I became close with a guy over the past few months. We spent a lot of time together, going to concerts, watching movies, and hanging out regularly. I ended up developing feelings for him. He told me more than once that he didn’t see me romantically, but we continued as friends.
The problem is that it never really felt like just a friendship to me. I got attached and started putting in a lot of effort. I was also dealing with jealousy and comparison, especially when I saw him connecting with other people or on social media.
Eventually I realized I couldn’t handle being in his life in a healthy way. It was affecting my mood, my self-esteem, and my ability to move on. So I pulled back, stopped reaching out, muted him, and created distance.
He hasn’t reached out either and things have just faded into silence. There was no real ending conversation. Now I feel a mix of relief and guilt. Relief because I am not constantly anxious anymore, but guilt because nothing bad actually happened and I told him I was okay being friends.
I am wondering if stepping away without saying anything was the right move, or if I should have said something for closure. Prior to me stepping back I sent a message saying that I felt like there was distance between us, but he never really initiated any repair.
TLDR
I caught feelings for a friend who did not feel the same. I tried to stay friends but it was affecting me emotionally, so I quietly distanced myself. Now I feel relief but also guilt and I am not sure if I handled it the right way.