u/Apprehensive-Use1312

I’m trying. I really am. Im getting my workouts in, im eating better, im studying (as much as i can) i have shorten my hours at work in order to rest. Anyway I feel always tired and my mind is only on my duties never turned off. I think I developed this brain-circle/mind-set when I was in uni. I’d say 9 years Ago. I was in really toxic and brain washing relationship that the only important thing that I could think off was that I needed to be alive and be with him. I swear nothing more. Then I become to understand that being with this person (after 5y) was just making me feel more sick. From that point on I tried my best to rebuilt my self and I used the pandemic to slowly go back to a normal life. Slowly years went by and I pass form going out of my room only to go to uni and buy foot to now studying a Máster degree in another state, having friends and a boyfriend(this time a normal one ahah). But my mind never focus on day by day or the moment. I’m at work even in the nights (in my mind), I’m cussing my self of for not studying when I’m tired. When im studying since my mind is like that I’m never focussed full on. When I’m not studying I’m thinking about work. When I’m with friends I can disconnect a bit but never much. I get rushes of anxiety thinking I didn’t make the right career choice and I get sad thinking this is just how my brain works and I have a depressive personality. I know this is venting, I’m algo doing therapy. What do you guys changed in your life that took you from a bad place to a good place. Is there a way to do it step by step repeatedly? What was your goal?