INFO about me:- Hello, I'm a 22 F who just got over with my masters and is currently doing an internship and will be proceeding ahead for a job.
CURRENT SITUATION:- But since last two years my mind has been constantly on fight or flight which has made me go somewhat into isolation like I do go out and meet people but something or the other happens and I lose contact with them and likewise I have lost a lot of people from my life.
But my mental health is improving and I'm doing a lot better since the past 4-5 months.
But somewhere I feel that someone had done something on me around 3 years back which made my mental health go down real bad as I keep on overthinking and procrastinate a lot but I think I'm also going through transformation right now cuz whatever is happening has made me actually get over my old habits and maybe whatever that's has been happening is to make me come out of my comfort zone and aware of my habits which are not good for me but yet again I get a lot of WHAT IFs too. I am a devotee of Shiva and currently wanting to be near Devi's energy and work with her. I get home at around 8:30 and then dinner and the other night routine chores take over and then it's time for sleep, so it's a very tight schedule for me wanting to do Sadhana.
My core reason for sadhana is to diminish this inner conflict that I'm having within myself which is not letting me focus here now in the present moment even though I want to buy my condition has improved a lot since past 4 months and i have been able to ignore the intrusive thoughts.
In some time I will get a job but before I get a job I need my mind to be stable enough to focus on my tasks and myself so that I can look after my future in a more better and insightful way which currently I can't.
I keep getting ruminating thoughts which are very hard to get out of but I have been very lucky that I have been carried through it and it has not affected my career too much.
Please suggest what Sadhana I can do which will help me get out of my situation fast. I connect well with Hanuman and Kali's energy as well as Swami Samarth who is an incarnation of lord Dattatreya and jagat guru.
A LIL BACKSTORY- I got reiki healing 3 years back because I was feeling low and stagnant, she told my pineal gland is calcified and hence she cleaned all my chakras and energy points, since then I get sudden pressure in between eyebrows, my i tuition was really great which made me overwhelm but I also feel I had no idea how to build an energetic boundary or like bandh so I can take on and understand other people's energy which is very hard to distinguish from mine.
This energetic entanglement which I feel is making me confused a lot and idk I also get overwhelmed by small things very easily.
Whenever someone thinks about me Or I think about someone my heartbeats get faster, maybe I get connected to them or idk.
Please let me know what is happening with me. I have not met any guru and my family doesn't believe in all of this stuff, so I tried sharing with my mum but she said to ignore and focus on myself and I also feel that I don't want them to be scared of me and also I don't want to get involved into fake babas and priests.
Do let me know what is happening with me.
Jai Maa Jai Baba 🔱