Hi everyone, I have a question that's been on my mind and I'm not sure what's "normal."
I'm (25F) in a 1,5 year relationship and my boyfriend (29M) does try to make me finish first, but that's mostly through penetration and sometimes fingering. Oral is pretty rare. I've noticed that if he finishes first, sex usually ends there. But if I finish first, I always make sure he finishes too (usually with oral).
What's really been bothering me is this: I almost never orgasm unless I help myself with my hand during penetration. I've only finished from penetration alone a couple of times. So in like 98% of cases, I'm the one actually making myself finish, just while he's inside me.
Important info:
- I don’t use toys or watch porn.
- My boyfriend puts in effort, but it’s mostly just penetration.
- In 98% of cases I finish during sex, but that’s only because of my own hand.
- He always waits and tries during sex until I finish first. In the 2% of cases when he finishes first by accident that’s where sex ends.
- He doesn’t go down on me
- I give him BJ every time we have sex.
- Yes, I tried talking to him about going down on me, he does it after the talk but it fades away after a while
So my question is; is it normal that I basically rely on my own stimulation to orgasm? Or should it be more common that a partner will do something to make you finish without you having to do anything yourself (through hands or oral)?
I guess I'm wondering if this is just how it is for most women, or if I'm missing something in my sex life.
TL;DR: Is it normal that I basically have to make myself orgasm every time, or should my partner be the one putting in enough effort to make me finish on his own?