Keeping this vague to avoid doxxing myself.
Recently received an email from my previous ES, saying that they have forwarded ‘some feedback’ from my last shifts of my last rotation, on to my new ES.
I think I know what it relates to, and my ES has said it’s not to do with clinical/patient care which further confirms it. They said it’s ’nothing to worry about’. I think it relates to being asked to do something on the shift which had previously been agreed I wouldn’t do (as a reasonable adjustment for a disability), and I therefore (politely!) declined to do it.
Despite this, I’m absolutely spiralling. I feel like I’m going to throw up. I feel like everyone must think I am workshy or a failing trainee or a terrible person.
Obviously if it’s something else (or even if it is this incident), I want to reflect on what I could have done better or differently, and what I would change in the future. But I can’t shake the feeling that even getting negative feedback at all means that I am an outlier to the norm in a bad way, and a failing trainee, and that this is a black mark that will stay by my name forever.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom here?