My boyfriend (25M) cheated on me from the beginning of the relationship. One time on valentine’s day.
I (23F) found out through a dream i had. I woke up one random day and got a weird feeling in my stomach. I checked his phone, felt guilty doing it, as i haven’t done it before and had no reason to. I see all the dms. There were so so so many, i couldn’t believe my eyes. Som were truly terrifying. He would beg to meet up and hook up with some of them (Mind you, i was going through with an abortion at that time). I didn’t even go through half of it. I confronted him by only asking him to be honest, without me confessing that i knew. He lied. As he looks through his phone, he is deleting messages. He gave me his phone and it was all gone. I asked him why? he didn’t respond and went silent. I left. I later that day dropped his clothes off and asked him if i could be honest with me. It took him a while, but he said he kissed someone at new years on vacation (we were facetiming hours before). I asked is there more? he lied. I asked him about and incident where he didn’t come home, on valentine’s day where he went to a party, that later turns out to be single-party. He looked like he saw a ghost. He confessed. I said, you slept with her? He said he didn’t know. I asked again. He got irritated. The morning after, i told him if he didn’t tell me the truth, i will find out, through her. He said “okay maybe we did, we tried, but i couldn’t, i was drunk”. I contacted the girl. She had a feeling he had a girlfriend, but wasn’t sure. She said the whole thing. I confessed to him, he got annoyed that i contacted her, because it is embarrassing for him and me? I remember the morning after he didn’t come home, i called him, was worried. He didn’t pick up and later talked to me in the phone and told me i was paranoid, and he forgot his phone at a party. I said i had a bad feeling, and he accused me of betraying him of my trust towards him. He made up a whole detailed lie. Making me feel guilty. I never brought it up again, because i fully believed him. He bought me flowers that same day. Anyways. Now that i know all of this, i can’t help to think there are others and more. FYI. He was the sweetest person. I never in my life thought he would do such a thing. His ex cheated on him and told me how much it broke him. I felt so bad for him. When his friend was cheating on his girlfriend, he judged him so bad. Analyzing the whole thing. Making me feel like i won, having someone like him. There are so so so many lies. It feels so surreal. Like this is a lie itself. I just don’t understand. How can you lie. I don’t know what is real and what is not.