Has anybody found better success on 100mg? See I feel a million times better than I ever did but put me in a work enviroment with socialising and multitasking and my brain goes nope. So it leaves me wondering is it working? Despite me feeling it is
:(
It wasn't a pleasant experience, sitting in that room, laying everything bare in front of people I had never met before was genuinely horrible. But when they announced the decision I couldn't believe it.
Despite all the evidence I had submitted, it felt like the panel based their decision mostly on the answers I gave on the day. The doctor in the room was particularly difficult to deal with. He asked very direct questions that left no room for nuance, and repeatedly told me to give direct answers only , which I found incredibly hard, because giving a direct answer without context felt like lying. As someone with autism, that was deeply uncomfortable.
I want to warn people about something I wasn't fully prepared for ,the doctor asked what I can only describe as gotcha questions. These are questions designed to get a simple yes or no answer that can then be used against you, stripping away all the nuance and context that actually tells the real story. For someone with autism who cannot lie and who needs to answer accurately, this was one of the hardest parts of the whole experience. If you're going into a tribunal, be aware this can happen. Try to stay calm, correct yourself if you need to, and don't let them make you feel like being accurate means you've been caught in a lie. You haven't.
I explained my difficulties reading bills and letters. I talked about the misunderstandings I'd experienced at work and the level of support I'd needed. I explained that despite trying to work since I was 18, I had never been able to sustain employment long enough to afford driving lessons, and that I actively avoid buses.
At one point the doctor said "it states you can walk for up to 25 minutes" and I explained that I prefer to walk rather than be in a confined space with strangers. I mentioned that I can get so lost in my own thoughts that I've had near misses on roads. He then tried to catch me out by asking whether I specifically seek out pelican crossings for safety when I said yes, he immediately said "well that's very safe isn't it!" as though that proved I was coping fine. I had to explain that whilst I would prefer that option, it isn't always available.
He then asked when a car had last come to a screeching halt because of me. I said that hadn't happened but I tried to explain that I've had near misses where cars have driven past as I was about to cross. The way the questioning was structured made it feel like I'd been caught in a lie, when actually I was just trying to be accurate. That's the reality of being autistic in these situations you've spent your whole life being disbelieved, and being interrogated like that makes it incredibly hard to advocate for yourself.
I'm genuinely considering whether to appeal, because I feel the way I was handled affected my ability to put my case across properly. I was frequently interrupted and not given the space to fully explain my answers.
But despite all of that I got the standard award for both. And I want anyone reading this to know: if you're going through this process, it's hard. It's really hard. I never believed I would be awarded PIP because I've spent my whole life being told I don't need extra help because I mask, because I appear confident, because I've always just got on with it.
I also suggest taking an expert/advocate with you, as I feel like there was a huge power imbalance at play and somebody who ' knew their stuff ' could have been the voice of reason for me.
But I got it. So if I can, you can too. Just be truthful. You can do it. 💙