I’ve been wanting to write this for a while.
I started wearing the hijab very young because I developed alopecia. I didn't know I had other options at the time, and over time it just became part of me.
People in my life don’t even know I have alopecia. I’ve been covering it since I was a kid, so to them it’s just “me wearing a hijab.” So there’s a whole layer of my reality they’re completely unaware of.
Now I’m 27 and I don’t want to wear it anymore. I really can’t handle it mentally anymore. But the alopecia is still there, and my hair loss got even worse to the point that all the usual things people recommend don't work for me, so I started looking into wigs. And that's where it gets even harder.
Taking off the hijab is already something I know I’ll be judged for. But taking it off and then wearing a wig? That’s seen as really strange. I already feel like people will think something is wrong with me, or that I’m sick.
I’m honestly scared of being seen as “the weird girl”, the one who took off her headscarf just to start wearing wigs.
If it was just about taking it off, it would still be hard, but more straightforward. This feels like double exposure: first being judged for removing it, and then again for how I deal with my hair. And on top of that, having the struggle of whether my wig looks natural or not.
I've already started taking off the hijab and wearing a wig a few times and despite feeling extremely self-conscious, it still felt better than wearing the hijab.
I also feel really alone in this. I’ve never come across someone in a similar situation, either online or in real life. Someone who took off the hijab but then had to rely on wigs because of hair loss. It makes it feel like I’m the only one in the world dealing with this.
I don’t really know what I’m asking for. Maybe just if anyone relates in any way, or has gone through something similar.
Thanks for reading