How can I partner better with my child's teacher about behavioral problems at school?
My son is in 5th grade and was diagnosed with ADHD at winter break, started meds at that time. Right after the spring semester started, I met with his teacher and principal to get an IEP or 504 plan set up (whichever one you use for student who doesn't need academic interventions). This includes things like letting him work on assignments in the hallway if he's struggling to focus in class, using a special movement seat, moving his seat where he won't be distracted by other students or distracting to other students, and having more time on standardized tests. The last one was really pushed by the principal, but I personally didn't think he needed it, because he always tests in the 90% for NWEA, MAPS, and our state standardized tests. The classroom does not allow gum or fidgets.
Things go well, until out of no where his teacher will email me or call me about him acting out in class. The last time this happened (last week) it was because he was disrespectful (rolling his eyes when he was told to do things) and because he was working too quickly on his state testing. The teacher specifically told me she is worried about him getting a reputation in school for being difficult and that kids and teachers didn't like his attitude, but I hadn't heard anything from her like this before and it had been over a month since she told me about any problems (that time he was reading on his school ipad while they were working on a lesson, so she took it for the week).
I asked her to give me more information about what he's doing so I can help address problems at home and that I want to help but that's impossible to do without knowing when and what is happening at school, so she's started giving me updates every couple of days. These updates are things like he had "trouble working with his science group on making their food chain poster because he was being “annoying” (as his group said), but they got it all sorted out" and "He had an issue with his ELA study group near the end of their time working together when they were answering questions. He asked if he could work alone and I let him. He said that they were talking over him and not listening to his answers". She can't give me any more information about how he's annoying his classmates.
I'm not sure what I can do to help here. I don't want my kid to be a problem, but I just can't get any clarity on what he's doing because she seems to get the most basic information (he was annoying) and do no follow up. I've asked the extended day staff if he's having problems socially there, and they said he does great and they don't ever have problems. Obviously, that's a different environment than class, but I would expect him to have problems socially there as well if it's an actual problem. I also want to give her grace, because she has a big class (30+) students, and they're at the age where they start pushing boundaries, but my kid thinks she doesn't like him, and I'm starting to agree.
Do you have any advice for how you would prefer the parent of a challenging kids work with you or better questions/ways I can approach this from my end?