Hi everyone, I need some honest perspective from seniors who might have been in my shoes.
12th Grade (The Burnout):
I started my prep online, isolated in one room. By August, the pressure of Boards + JEE hit me so hard I had a physical breakdown—couldn't eat or sleep for days, lost 2-3kg in 48 hours, and developed chronic headaches. I "gave up" mentally after that and only studied the night before exams.
Results: Jan JEE: 86%ile | Boards: 82% | April JEE: 76%ile.
Drop Year (Mental Health Struggles):
I took a full drop, but the isolation continued. My parents’ constant taunts pushed me into deep depression. To escape, I developed a severe YouTube Shorts addiction. I’d sit for classes, mute them, and scroll for 14-15 hours a day until my eyes and head pained. I would sleep all day just to avoid the laptop.
The Turning Point:
Around late 2025, I started listening to Premanand Ji Maharaj and practicing naam-jap. It helped me stabilize my mind and quit the doom-scrolling. I only revised my 12th syllabus and a tiny bit of my drop-year content.
Result: Jan: 76%ile | April: 89%ile.
The Dilemma:
I feel like I haven't even given 30% of my potential because of my mental health. My parents think I studied full-time and failed, so a full drop is out of the question. I’ll be 19 this November.
Should I take a partial drop? Now that my mind is stable and the addiction is under control, I feel I can do better.
Or should I move on? Take whatever college I get at 89%ile and put this "hard work" into coding/skills instead?
I’m scared of wasting another year but also scared of wondering "what if" forever. Please help.