i’m 17. i know in the eyes of many that is still young. but to me it feels like my life is basically already over. i’ve been abandoned by both of my parents, never had any friends or a boyfriend and im a drop out. i’ve struggled with mental health all my life and it’s kept me in the “there’s no point in trying” mindset since i was a kid. i’ve isolated myself from everything i could’ve had. and even though it’s never been good for me, i was still happier than i am now a few years back.
the only sort of male validation i’ve ever had was from creeps online. it’s completely ruined my way on how i see people, mostly men. which is probably another reason why im scared of getting older. i can’t talk to a therapist about this and i have nobody else. i’m constantly trapped in my own mind. i know i want to change and get better, but i can’t. i don’t have the motivation for anything. i just wish i could be 11 again and re do it all.