I decided to compile a list of different statistics and show the rank of each of our states. I’m also typing this part of the post before researching anything so hopefully Ohio isn’t predominantly at the bottom of the list.

I found a list by US News that ranks states on multiple avenues. Overall, Crime & Corrections, Education, Economy, Healthcare, Infrastructure, and Natural Environment.

First up:

Crime & Corrections

The closer to a number one ranking means that your state is generally safer, rehabilitates criminals at a higher rate, and the incarceration rate is generally lower.

For the AL Central States it falls like this:

15. Illinois

16. Minnesota

17. Ohio

18. Michigan

19. Missouri

I’ll leave that at that.

Next:

Education

This measures metrics tied to both higher education and the space from pre-K through high school.

The central ranks:

11. Minnesota

12. Illinois

13. Ohio

14. Missouri

15. Michigan

That could possibly mean that Twins fans are the smartest and the Pohlads should actually listen to them. However Tigers fans need to read a bit more.

Now:

Healthcare

Which state has the best quality, and access to healthcare and what’s the outlook on public health in general

16. Minnesota

17. Michigan

18. Illinois

19. Ohio

20. Missouri

Twins fans take the top spot again. Are they just addicted to Ozempic or are those hot dishes actually heart healthy? Missouri needs to lay off the BBQ just a bit.

Next up:

Economy

This looks at each state’s business environment, labor market, and overall economic growth. Pretty much is your state soaring upwards or in decline.

ALCentral:

25. Missouri

26. Minnesota

27. Michigan

28. Ohio

29. Illinois

Honestly surprised to Illinois at the bottom of the list here as Chicago is the biggest city in the AL Central but maybe the rest of the state is dragging you down. Missouri flying high above everyone else ever since Royals fans found out about WallStreetBets and their unemployment is lower than everyone else’s. Maybe that’s why we don’t see a whole lot of Royals fans in here. Ohio has the worst unemployment though.

Next:

Infrastructure

Top States have the best use of renewable energy, the best roads and bridges, and their residents have access to quality high speed internet.

We stack up like this:

10. Minnesota

11. Illinois

12. Ohio

13. Missouri

14. Michigan

Minnesota comes out on top once again and maybe their access to high speed internet is why I saw so many of them talking about expected stats so much since they can calculate it as soon as the ball is in play. Michigan is bottom of the central and close to bottom of the nation and if you’ve ever driven up there you know their roads aren’t great.

Following:

Natural Environment

States at the top of this list are the most beautiful and stunning places in our country. They also have cleaner air, cleaner water, and may have implemented their own laws about environmental protection. Shout out to my home city for being one of the reasons the EPA exists.

AL Central States:

14. Minnesota

15. Missouri

16. Michigan

17. Ohio

18. Illinois

Illinois comes in last probably because if you’re outside Chicago it’s mostly just corn and soybean fields. Although I will point out that Illinois barely took the edge from Ohio who comes in last when it comes to pollution ranking 45/50 vs Illinois 41/50. Illinois’s air and water quality was just much worse. Minnesota comes out on top cause they need to protect all those lakes for all that ice fishing they do in the off season.

And lastly:

Overall best place to live in the US

To wrap up the overall rankings. These tie in most of what I said above along with a few others like Opportunity, and Fiscal Stability. I didn’t include some of the others because the site dint explain well what exactly they were tracking. This also tracks general Quality of Life settings and if people are generally happy with where they live.

Finally:

4. Minnesota

5. Missouri

6. Illinois

7. Ohio

8. Michigan

Minnesota tops the list for best overall place to live in the AL Central with top scores in many metrics and people generally being happy living there. Go on and take your crown and brag to the rest of us plebs in here for not living in the best state. You even smashed it too with second place barely even in the picture.

For the rest of us… Really? We let Minnesota of all places beat us? We need to do better.

Michigan, I guess you can take the shit crown for being king of shit mountain. Being the worst state in the AL Central you have a lot of work to do.

If you’re curious about the list I used and don’t like your ranking take it up with USNews.com and their best states ranking.