u/Amni-is-a-nerd

ive been recently really worrying that i use my vyvanse wrong even if its what works for me. i have grown fond of taking it at 4-5pm instead of the morning. this week ive tried taking it in the morning again and i absolutely love the early morning hours on it (typically taking it at 4am and then getting out of bed once it sets in) but after 12pm i get a terrible migraine, no motivation and school becomes more hell than it already is for me. however when i take it at 4 or 5pm i am able to get tons of schoolwork done before bed and indulge in all of my hobbies and feel like a functioning person. when i take it like this the crash usually occurs when i am going to bed or when im sleeping and the peak happens when i would usually begin to get sleepy which i love as it gives me an extra boost in motivation to get stuff done. i dont really experience issues sleeping unless i take it to late or drink an energy drink during the peak hours but even then even im not a person who is affected much by sleep as my parents were never really to strict on bedtimes growing up so my body is used to getting less than 7hrs and i function better with less than more due to that. its also healthier in a way as if i take it in the morning ill eat breakfast and then nothing til like 4pm and then ill over-eat but due to my migraine it'll make me feel sick. whereas i take it 5pm ill eat breakfast, lunch, a snack, supper and then take it and feel fuller without needing to overeat. Another thing is that i am a person who really fixates and obsesses over certain things so naturally for every single medication i take i obsess over set in time, peak time and crash time. this isnt purposeful its subconscious but its really annoying sometimes but it can come in handy when i go to sleep. i can kinda force my brain to believe the vyvanse has stopped working by just thinking about how its no longer in peak and it will obsess over that, like a really stupid counting sheep thing for my disordered ass. anyways i should add i probably have some form of OCD im trying to get tested for that, im also audhd. i know i probably sound like i shouldnt be on it but adhd medication has helped me so much im really scared that since i use it wrong itll get taken away by doctors. i seriously do love vyvanse and i am probably making it sound worse than it actually is, again 90% of the side effects i talked about dont affect me when i take it in the evening, only the morning and i dont have sleep issues at all. i used to be on concerta but that wasnt nearly as helpful as vyvanse is to me. although i think vyvanse helps me more with focusing on doing things than it does with focusing on things happening around me if that makes sense, thats probably the main reason why i started taking it later its helped me tons doing it like this. sorry this was so long i just feel really guilty, like im secretly causing myself more harm even if i know that its what is best for me. if theres a medication similar to vyvanse but longer lasting and doesnt have a terrible crash id love to try it.