u/AmethystGamer19

Just the words "work my butt off" and "study" make me feel exhausted. Because those are two things that I have NEVER done in my life. Ever. I most likely have ADHD, and I doomscroll and play video games all the time, and I feel like I'm never going to be able to find a job.

Does everyone know what age you graduated at if you get a high school diploma in your 20s? Will it show on my resume? I know nothing about any of this, but I'm scared of what's going to happen to me in the future.

So, what I'm gonna have to do is start from the lowest level on Khan Academy, and work my way up from kindergarten to high school math, knowledge, etc. Right now, I'm 19 years old and 2 months. If I can really commit to this and finally stop doomscrolling (which is highly unlikely) then I might be able to graduate by 21 or 22. But that might just be wishful thinking. I don't know if my tiny sized brain can handle all of that when I'm used to having everything easy, until I one day don't anymore.

Seeing everyone on social media say that it's impossible to get even a job at fast food without a college degree makes me lose hope. It makes me feel like none of this is going to be worth it, especially because college is frowned upon in my family, and I'm probably going to be dependent on them until I'm in my 30s. Or maybe even later than that, who knows. They also couldn't afford that for me and all of my siblings, and I understand that. I know I won't ever be able to afford it, either.

Should I just get a GED? Or is that going to make me have less opportunities if I never get a degree? I also have a feeling that passing a GED test is going to take me a very, very long time. But graduating from high school would probably take me even longer.

I do kinda wonder if the GED will be better for me in the long run, since it makes more sense for older people over 18 to be obtaining one. Seeing that a 22 year old just graduated high school might get me some instant rejects, especially if it shows on the resume. Which, by the way, I currently have nothing on there. I don't even have a resume at all. I don't know if I ever will.

As an incredibly isolated person who has been unschooled with no outside socialization throughout my entire childhood, now 19, I would like to find people who can relate to me. It feels like most people wouldn't understand my situation, and tell me that I'm "cooked" because I'll likely never be able to get a credible diploma or go to college.

I'm a huge gamer, and I use Discord, so maybe we'll get along if you're also into video games! I've used them to cope for years, and I honestly probably wouldn't want to be alive if it weren't for them, so I'm always going to appreciate that they exist.

I've played Genshin Impact, Cookie Run: Kingdom, Honkai: Star Rail, Wuthering Waves (mostly gacha games after 2021 hahah) and as for non gachas, I like the Atelier series, Rune Factory, The Sims, WolfQuest, Sun Haven, Kingdom Hearts, Triangle Strategy and Octopath, and I'm hoping to eventually get into Stardew Valley as well. I sometimes also play coloring pixels just to relax and turn my brain off for a while. And I used to be super into Animal Jam when I was a child, but I've long since grown out of it.

My whole life has really just been gaming. Haven't studied a day in my life, and the only socialization I've ever gotten with people my age was my younger sisters.

I feel so alone sometimes, even though I do have some online friends. They just don't fully get what I'm going through. I try to act happy most of the time, but deep down inside, I really wish my life had turned out different. I wish I was able to have enough self discipline to educate myself and turn off the games for a little bit. But not to give them up completely. I need for there to be a balance, if I can ever get out of my fantasy dreamland. Yeah, I've been daydreaming for years to cope as well. So basically, the way I've managed to survive all these years was my imagination, and video games.

If you would like to be friends, or maybe even just talk to each other for a bit to see if we click, please feel free to DM me!