Some background, I was an Army Medic during my time in service, now work as a Medical Assistant before college with one of my homies from the Army who is a PA. We currently work for a smaller rural health organization, and I’ve found myself in a bit of trouble apparently.
I do admit fault, as I did clock out 5 minutes early when there was nothing to do without asking, got a counseling session for it, there were 2 managers in the meeting and I defended myself respectfully regarding intent and raised some concerns regarding current work environment items such as changes to staffing. I then followed up a couple days later to inquire about getting policy documents for me to better educate myself, it was a very well written message, even had another vet coworker read it over. Click send. Get a terrible answer so I follow up again in person with 2 managers present, no policy answers.
Later, I get a suprise visit from some HR Directors coming down and meet with me, Topic: My Aggressiveness. They referred to me as disrespectful, stated they initially wanted to let it slide due to my military background, and I would need to civilianize better. When I asked what was considered disrespect, or aggressive about my discussions, they informed me they should not have to define such terms to a grown adult, and that they don’t need to provide policy.So I’m at a loss on what to correct, they recommended I use AI to word my messages, stated I could still ask questions. They did admit that I used no foul language, did not order anything, but it was reported that my tone was a problem. Mind you these are all Women, so I’m wondering if how I speak as a guy is to blame?
Any advice from other vets on how to not be perceived as aggressive? I do speak directly, those under me and around me have never had a problem and are pretty loyal, but they are all former military or milspouses.