maybe its cuz i grew up poor but i hate never getting my way,, i used to be ok with it but lately ive realized i just hate things not going my way i wish things always went my way but maybe that would be bad
life has never been good to me since i was born,,, so it truly does not matter whether i choose to be nice or mean,, because it always is negative for me anyway,,, but it has made for some fun and freeing experiences treating people like shit ,, and seeing how much i can get away with,, the worst part is, people love me ,, which is almost pathetic on their end,, everyone knows and admits that they think im a bad person,, yet somehow they all agree that im a great friend,, and as much as i dont care to have these people around they still enjoy talking to me and think im one of a kind,, its super strange,, you’d think people would hate me with all of the things ive done,,, maybe its my face,, my aura?? my personality?? either way its nice to get away with it all
still nothing good has happened since my last post ,,,,,,, shocking ,, still miserable, ,, trying to find the good in life but its not easy, this shit is just miserable and pathetic,, and frustrating ,,, i think i just need comfort but im just alone so ,, who knows maybe ill just start taking my anger out on everyone around me and ill maybe feel better,,