Hello friends,
As of two months ago I am on the transplant list. I am looking at a SPK transplant, meaning ill be getting a kidney and a pancreas at the same time. This transplant is supposed to make my life better, and ultimately add years to my life, add stability, and maybe even more freedom.
I am terrified. I am terrified of the surgery, i am terrified that my life will be worse after the surgery. I am terrified that the surgery will result in death, or a standard of living that would require people around me to take care of me until i do eventually die. My head is being flooded with what-ifs. It is heavily affecting me in my day-to-day and it is heavily affecting me at work. I cant stop worrying about it. I know its YEARS away for me (GFR is 28 and actually getting better tbh) just the thought of fighting so hard to stay alive, then having to deal with potentially MANY life threatening side affects.
I dont have anyone to talk to about this, my support system is good, but they dont 'get it'. I know I am probably thinking about it too much, I mean without the surgery I die anyway, right? idk. Hoping to hear some good stories about it, hoping to maybe get some real advice too.
Thanks in advance, love you guys.