u/AmbitiousArrival3137

sometimes I think ki mera koi genuine dost hai bhi ya nahi..

let me tell you about this one incident..

i had this friend of mine in college, hum dono same batch ke the but she was from biotech department.

meri roommate bhi thi woh. hum dono ka achha chalraha tha sab badhiya ghoomna firna.

ek baar ki baat hai humey mess ka khaana nahi khaana tha (Obv kiske mess ka khaana achha banta hai).

uss din she went outside for a walk in my hostel campus or bahar kahin hogi woh and i was in my room sleeping after my college hours.

usney call Kara mujhe and said "aaj bahar sey khaana mangwaye"? (because quantity zyada aati and she couldn't eat all that alone aisa kuch nahi hai ki usko meri chinta thi lol) and to that I Obv said " yes yes order karlo half half karlenge where are you btw" she said I came for a walk outside aati hoon room mey order lekar he seedha ...

after that she came around 7 ish in the room with two boxes of pizza and choco lava cake in her hand..

maine mast khaaya sab. thodi der baad uske bf ka call aaya. she picked up and they were talking and I was scrolling reels on my phone(hum dono ka bed paas paas he tha) and then... i heard her bf shouting at her ..

ki tumne usey (matlab mujhe) kyu khilaya woh khaana jo usney uski bandi ke liye bheja tha.. and she was just listening to that..and then he started arguing with her ki "mai kuch bhi bheju tum khud khaaya karo you don't need to FEED her agar aisa raha I'll not send anything to you ever again" ... and here i thought ki ye ladki mere liye apne paison se khareed ke laai hai..

ab mai hoon sensitive mujhe lagne laga bura khud ke liye that why did i even that jab ye sab hona tha..also isne bata diya hota iske bf ne bheja hai I wouldn't have eaten mujhe laga isney mera aur apna sochh ke mangwaya hai..

ek or incident hai isi saal ki ..

she now lives in chandigarh and came back to my city to give an exam (i don't remember uske course se milta julta kuch tha) .. usne hostel se jaate time mujhe apna thoda saaman diya tha ki when she'll come for that exam she'll take it from me kyunki uske paas bohot saaman tha already and she was going alone..

also her bf lives in the same city as mine..

ab woh aai Obv ussey mil ke he jaati uss bandi ne uske saamne boldiya that I have some of her stuff she has to get it from me ... bhaii that guy started shouting at her again in the middle of the road ki jab dekho tab aditi aditi (thats my name) aaj ke baad iska naam mat lena mere saamne..

aur aur aur guess karo iske baad kya hua hoga ......

she cut all contacts with me, "sorry yaar iski wajah se" bolke nikal li.. that is why.. I think ki log ab genuine nahi rahey... i remember she was sick I used to make her food on my induction (hostels mein kahan allowed hota hai) uska banda nahi jaata tha uske saath ghoomne I used to go with her just because usko akela na feel ho aur woh bandi ready hoke baithi rehti thi and her bf used to cancel tha plans ekdum 1 min pehle...mera mann nahi bhi hota tha I used to go for her taaki ye udaas na ho...

*also inke relationship ko 6 saal hone jaaraha toh dekhlo....

TLDR - I invested in one of my friend very much she was my only friend at that time. uske bf ko mujhse god knows kya dikkat thi and one day they got in an argument because of my name and she left with him mujhe bas "sorry from his side" bolke

update* i am fine today .. weakness hai thodi, I again cried last night. Took sleeping pills (half dose) then slept..

im getting way too emotional on anything even if someone's appreciating me also on a small thing ..

people who are talking to me know I'm not well.. can somebody tell me how do I stop this.. I'm an intern.. final year complete karne jaa rahi hoon. aisa nature raha toh I won't be able to survive ....

I can't afford a therapist but I need someone to help me with my mental health.

I've been crying continuously since 2 days.

can somebody tell me what should I do?