u/Altruistic_Show_950

I always new that I was meant for something big and care free, something that financially would free me, and my mind would be at ease. I am meant for something big - but I don't know what yet.

I'm in my early 20s and I just started my first job after college and I'm really happy about it don't get me wrong, but all day I get this agonizing feeling that I am not at the right place, I'm so awfully aware that life has a path, and the universe has given me a 100% signs that I'm at a right place right now, and I'm also aware that I've always been this inpatient person, I've always hated the path to success because I crave the outcome and hate the process.

I don't know why I am like this when I'm so conscient of how life works, and I've always accepted it but always felt like this, as if my brain can't just function without creating a feeling that will make me feel as if I'm not enough, or that I in a place where I should be don't something more "important" as a successful person. But is literally my first job, and I was so happy, and now I stuck in this cycle again. I've always been like this, I can't enjoy the now because I always want bigger, when the path is in the beggining.

How can I be so self aware, and feeling so inpatient to the point I get emotional ? I feel awful because I feel ungrateful when I've been so blessed. I was not born in a position where I couldn't just wait for stuff to come, I have to work for things, and sometimes I despise people who have everything while being aware that it's just jealousy.

I'm tired of my brain and mind, I just want peace, I've have achieved everything I wanted in life until now, why can't I just wait and life a happy, carefree, young life, without feeling anxious that I should be elsewhere. I'm really am, too tired, I don't even know if explain myself right. I wish we were all rich and carefree, and have someone give an important role that makes feel fulfilled everyday.

I hate the way I thing.

Does anyone remember this anime ? I've watched it when I was really young and randomly remembered it and I got the urge to rewatch it, however, no website seems to have it ? Does anyone know a anime free website where I can watch ?

One thing I started to notice, is that when women are activists for something, it feels like they have to follow a 300 page book, meanwhile men speak once, proclaim their position on something, and then never mentioned it, but someone he gets praised for it.

People like Zara Larson, and SZA are both celebrities that I follow a lot, because of their work and they speak about everything so I find that worth of my attention - since the AI slop that Zara said she watched, her years of activism for literally everything suddenly lost its meaning and everyone tried to cancel her for it, she the only celebrity I see being actively speaking on every matter possible, but stupid videos it's the limit.

With SZA something that stayed with me was one comment she made in one video showing how the new iphone 17 worked with zoom, in the comment she said that children in Congo are suffering so the person would get a better zoom on an iphone - which is true, and when I read I understood that she meant that buying the lastest phone without any need because it has better useless features is stupid because it contributes to companies slaving more people to built more phones because people buy without need just because it's new - pretty simple right. No, she got backlash for this and thousands of people copied and pasted her comment on her pictures where her iphone 15 is in it. And I remmeber being so confused on this reaction because her comment was pretty clear, but people took this as "oh you shouldn't have an iphone" (saw this trail of thought in twitter) meanwhile if you're half educated, the exploitation in Congo is not just because of Apple, is impossible to consume without harming others on this topic, so nothing in this made any sense to me.

I never see this happen with men, never, I can't even give an example when a man spoke out and got backlash because he was "contradicting" his activism.

Another thing I noticed is this seems to be worse when american public is involved, they try to nit pick everything for this to happen, meanwhile, with a good education people don't even understand how this makes sense because the trail of thought doesn't even make sense.

Billie Eilish speaks about palestine pretty often, recently I saw comments canceling her because she fake on this because she likes JB and went to this stage on Coachella. No comments whatsoever on JB supporting Israel when October 7 happened, that's wuite forgotten, she received the hate for HIS stance.

I'm sry but how does any of this make any sense ?

Is someone else restricted to "build a sentence" chat ? My chat used to be free, but now is very restricted and quite boring, and I did my research it's supposed to be changable in data, but to me it doesn't appear to change it at all.

I have this accounts for ages, and this never happened or I did changes, it was automatic.

Does anyone else have this problem ? How do I change the chat ?