I thought I was over this, honestly.
My ex and I ended up at the same multi day party with mutual friends. First night I was pretty anxious, but we both just avoided each other. No interaction, no drama.
Second day was easier. Same thing, we stayed out of each other’s way and it started to feel normal.
By the third day, I genuinely felt like I did not care anymore. I was not trying to talk to her or fix anything. We went hours each day without interacting at all, and I felt like I handled it well. I was going to come on here to make a post about how healing is nonlinear but it does happen even to someone you thought would be my future.
She was hanging around the same guy most of the weekend. I noticed, but did not care. So on the third night, I am talking to a friend in a hallway near a water fountain. I am facing away from it. She comes up behind me to get water. I do not see her at first, but she can clearly see me.
I turn around to grab water myself and just commit to walking forward so it is not awkward. I am not trying to talk to her at all.
As soon as that happens, the guy she has been with all weekend steps in between us and walks with her. I try to shift to the side to avoid both of them, but he keeps himself between us and I end up getting squeezed into a tight space and we bump shoulders a bit. Not aggressive, but he definitely does not give much space. That's the charitable interpretation I felt the dude checked me.
She leaves right after that and I do not see her again. And for whatever reason, that one moment is what stuck with me. Not the first night anxiety, not the second day getting used to it, just that. It felt like I got blocked or checked, even though I had not approached her the entire weekend. And what is frustrating is, if I actually wanted to talk to her, I had two full days to do it. I did not.
Now I am sitting here like, I thought I was good, but that moment still got to me. I know I am overthinking but man this got me.