Being with my best friend makes me feel so bad
About a year ago I (23f) moved to a new city and immediately met this really great person (20f). I was in a stage in my life where I struggled a lot with loneliness and social anxiety, still trying to find out who I was and what to do with my life. My new friend and I started a really intense friendship. We would see each other all the time, had keys to each others apartments, share out deepest secrets, basically do everything together.
I enjoyed it for a while and still feel really grateful to her to this day, because she really pushed me out of my comfort zone. We're very opposite of each other - she's extrovert, charismatic and confident. I care a lot for her, but for the past few months, I've been feeling a change in our friendship. Part of me feels so utterly exhausted just at the thought of having to be around her. I feel like I've been a really bad friend, declining to hang out, answering texts slowly etc. but I just feel like something has changed between us, and I don't know how to fix it, I'm not even sure if I want to.
We are so different, and I think I've come to realize that I've been pushing myself to be more like her whenever we're together. There are a lot of ways in which we see the world that just don't align, and it's become very clear to me now. It's as if every part of her life has her in the center of it, and I just don't function like that. Like, every single interaction she has, every minor thing that happens around her is ABOUT her.
This makes it really hard to do basically anything with her because of the aftermath. It's also just not how I perceive the world myself, so it honestly annoys me to the point where I sometimes have a hard time hiding it. She makes me feel guilty for spending time with my other friends, because she wants me to "prioritize" her, she makes me feel unsure about whether or not she'll speak badly of me behind my back to her other friends, because she does that to me about them. It's also just generally hard to find time to see her, because she's decided that she doesn't like some of my friends, so I can't really invite her to group things. She's expressed annoyance and jealousy about the fact that I've got a lot of new friends over this past year and also sort of passively degrades them in front of me.
And yet, I obviously care a lot about her. I know most of these things has to do with her insecurities, but I'm just so burned out from constantly feeling like I have to carry them for her and reasure her. I KNOW that I've been a bad friend, pulling away without reason, but I don't know what reason to even give her. This friendship is so draining, but I also feel like I might be overreacting and it's out of proportion to cut her off completely. But I don't feel like I can give her what she needs, and every time I try to give myself some space, she makes me feel like I've wronged her.
Maybe I have, but I'm also just trying my best to take care of myself and have enough energy to see all my friends and family. Literally what do you do in a situation like this? Am I completely in the wrong for feeling like this? I just feel so bad about it.