I (31F) have been struggling with being very critical of my own work, especially when it doesn’t turn out the way I imagined.
For example, I recently finished a landscape painting (mountains, forest, flowers). Other people say it’s beautiful, and I do genuinely like parts of it (especially the mountains), but I still feel dissatisfied with the overall result. I can’t tell if I’m noticing real issues or just being too harsh on myself.
I have a history of anxiety and depression, and I’m currently in treatment and taking antidepressants, which have been helping. But I still notice that my default reaction to my own work is criticism rather than appreciation.
I also grew up with a very critical parent. When I made mistakes as a child, my mom would sometimes react strongly, for example, tearing pages out of my notebook and making me redo everything if it wasn’t “perfect.” I’m starting to wonder how much that shaped the way I evaluate myself now.
I’ve always been quite perfectionistic, but recently I’ve been trying to change that, especially with support from my boyfriend, who is very kind and encouraging. Still, I find it hard to accept my work if it doesn’t meet my expectations.
Has anyone experienced something similar? How do you learn to enjoy the process instead of focusing on flaws, and how do you tell the difference between useful self-critique and being overly harsh on yourself?