I was afraid I was going to be murdered last night and the only person I wanted to message was my ex
Last night someone semi-successfully broke into my house and I was hiding in a closet as I was instructed to do. I’m American, and in the area I’m in if someone is breaking into your house it is usually with a purpose and weapons. After a while of hiding, I could hear footsteps coming up the stairs getting closer and couldn’t tell if it was someone I shared the house with or the intruder. All I had was my phone and a pair of scissors I grabbed before hiding, so I knew if they found me with a weapon there was a chance that would be it for me.
While I was trying to figure out what to do (I had already texted 911), I had a moment in my head where I was wondering if I should try to reach out to a loved one while I had time. The only person I could think of messaging was my ex.
Even in that moment of panic, I felt like an idiot. We broke up about two months ago after a 9 month relationship. I have a million people in my life who should take precedence over him. I have plenty of amazing friends who have saved me in so many ways and another ex I shared a quarter of my life with. This man totally changed after we broke up and started treating me like a stranger seemingly out of nowhere. It has become obvious to me that he doesn’t give a shit about me or my wellbeing, he even went as far as to sabotage me at my job that I loved. Literally any other person in my life should’ve been my natural instinct to talk to.
Luckily, the person coming upstairs was telling me I was clear to come out now and the alarm system drove the intruder away and nothing bad happened.
I just feel like a fucking idiot. What if that really had been the end of my life, and I spent it pining for someone I didn’t even know existed a calendar year ago? I am not the type of person who loses myself in relationships or the idea of something else, and I am so horrified that potentially the last person i wanted wasn’t one of the people I’ve loved for years, but a guy who strung me along for 9 months without ever even telling me he loved me. I am so embarrassed and feel like I’ve learned something about myself I didn’t want to know.
Also, I know there are a lot of engagement bait stories. This is unfortunately real and I’m just a loser handling my breakup badly