My girlfriend and I have been together for five years now, living together for three of them. I’d say we’ve had a pretty ideal relationship with almost no arguments, accepting each other’s faults, etc.. However, she is maybe the most sexually reserved person I’ve ever been with.. She LIKES having sex but she’s pretty shy and doesn’t like straying from the usual.. Needless to say our frequency has dipped a bit but we’re certainly not sexless at all..
She’s also always been faithful in all of her relationships and while her ex cheated on her before they split, she has always been very vocal of how she feels about cheating. When a couple we know split last year because the boyfriend cheated and they have now since gotten back together, she couldn’t stop saying how she couldn’t believe how the girlfriend could ever take him back..
That being said… A little over a month ago some friends of ours had a relatively small, non traditional wedding in Vegas (we live in Orange County, CA) I was already booked to work out of town that entire week and my job isn’t flexible in ways where I can change such plans. I told her to of course go to the wedding and not to miss out because I had to work..
She rode out there with another couple we’re friends with and booked a room at the same hotel everyone else was staying in. The Wedding was at one of those little chapels and afterwords everyone went out to a club to celebrate. Probably 12 people total…
I worked late that day and had dinner with one of the guys on my crew and tried calling her when I got back to my room.. Her phone rang three times and went to voicemail. It was a little after 11:00 her time (I was two hours ahead) so I figure they might just be out at the club… I sent her a text just checking in before I wound down for the night and got to bed… Even in situations like that she’s always very quick to reply… I took a shower got situated in my room and checked my phone and over 45 minutes had passed and hadn’t heard anything back… yeah maybe it was loud. She didn’t notice her phone go off so I figured I would try calling you again as he if she would at least make me feel it ringing in her purse or whatever to see the text. Rang a few times and sent to vmail.. at that point I’m wondering is she sending me to voicemail on purpose? I got a little irritated, took a deep breath and called again and this time it just went straight to voicemail.. I gave up, went to bed and called it a night.
I had to be up early the next day and once I got to the site I was working at, she sent me a text saying she couldn’t believe she missed my texts and calls last night and she apologized .. “Bad service in the club, etc. etc. got back into the room really late and she passed out” .. She let me know she was driving back with our friends and would be back to our place by early evening.
While I was a little irritated, knowing her behavior, I really wasn’t that suspicious. Accepted it and moved on with my day.
Flash forward to me returning home the following week.. I noticed she was acting different around me. Not like when she’s upset or anything but uncomfortable… I let it go on for a couple of days thinking maybe it was just mood or whatever… Finally, I confronted her about it.
Thats when she started to cry.. She told me she had to be honest about something and said “While I was in vegas for the wedding, I made a huge mistake and wound up sleeping with a friend of ____ (the groom). Who was out from Canada for the wedding.
She claims she drank more than usual and he had been flirting with her all night and they arranged to leave the club separately and meet in his room back at the hotel. She admitted thats where she was when I was calling.. she apologized profusely and said she has no idea what got into her and assured me that nobody in our friend group knows about it or saw anything happen or even suspected anything.. to be honest that’s the last thing that I care about..
I stood up and said that I didn’t know how to react and needed a moment and left the house and went for a walk.. here’s where I need a little bit of clarification..
While I was on my walk, I kept replaying it in my head and my emotions went from anger to jealousy to being strangely turned on.. I couldn’t get the thought of it out of my mind.. Ive never in my life fantasized about ANYTHING like this but the thought of her being with someone else so recently and still only knowing the base details somehow turned into a turn on for me..
When I got home she looked at me and apologized again and I walked up to her and kissed her HARD and started taking her clothes off. she seemed confused and said she didn’t feel right doing this right now and I told her I needed to in order to move on.. We wound up having the best sex we’ve had in years.. Maybe ever and have a few more times since then.. Heres my problem, am I just having a psychological reaction to this and not addressing it correctly and creating a bigger issue for down the
road? Im still obsessively thinking about it snd starting to get close to asking her for more details..
Am I lost? Going about this wrong? Anyone else ever have a similar experience and reaction?
Sorry for the long post, but I had to get all the details and to have it make sense at least I figured so in my mind..