I (30M) have known my best friend (33M) for like 14 years since we met in high school via a gaming group. He’s truly like my brother and we live in the same city, hang out weekly, talk all the time. Due to life decisions he’s made over the past year, that I supported regardless of what a mistake they were, he’s gone towards a very bad mental place as of the last few months after money issues and I’m starting to realize none of this may be any kind of normal.
Recently he’s started icing me out if he doesn’t like what I say or if I say what he determines to be the wrong answer. This week it was me replying ‘okay’ to him telling me how we should clean his yard after I suggested I’d come clean it. He decided I wasn’t taking him seriously, yelled at me, and ghosted for days then pretended like nothing happened three days later while I felt really crappy. Rinse, repeat. I’ve learned he hasn’t talked to most of our mutual friends in weeks and they all have seen the toll it’s starting to take on me. I’ve spent a lot of money and time trying to help with his choices too which those around us have taken notice to the point of telling me it’s cruel how he treats me, but I keep telling myself it’s what family does.
Most people around us including my parents are telling me it’s toxic at this point and I should walk away cause he never apologizes to anyone in our friend group, barely says thank you, checks on me, etc. But 14 years is hard to shake off… plus I dunno who he would have left or like what I would even do after having him as a pillar for so long? If it’s just mental problems, I keep thinking we can get past this but he refused therapy and just keeps getting worse. I’m really torn and just need an outside voice I guess.