So me and my girl have been dating a little over a year now. Before we were officially together, we went on a date, and right after she asked if her guy friend who she knew since high school could sleep over. It caught me off guard. I told her I wasn’t really comfortable with it, but we weren’t exclusive yet so I didn’t push it.
That same night I went through her phone (I know, not my best moment) and saw they had some kind of history. She said they were drunk and that she didn’t really know what happened when he stayed over. I didn’t want to accuse her of anything, but it stuck with me. I brought it up and she was more upset that I went through her phone, which is fair, and I apologized.
At the time, I was already taking her seriously and wanted exclusivity, especially if we were being intimate. It just didn’t sit right with me mentally. Little while after. They also had some disputes and stopped talking for a while.
Fast forward to now: we’re together, but this guy is back in the picture. She linked up with him to end the friendship but Ik they still talk. Its not rocket science, I dont want to go through her phone . I trust her, just not with this particular situation.
How do I handle this situation without being controlling nor misogynistic. have self respect but how do i lay down boundaries over a situation that shouldn’t matter to me . I dont want to let this ruin our freedoms at 20 year olds and preserve the longevity of this relationship because its very healthy .