…but actually, don’t do anything that threatens the status quo.
My executive coach today says to me “my feminism says ‘My definition of feminism is to be the most successful I can be- as a woman. So if that means I play by the rules at work, and be myself when I’m off the clock to be at the top, that was worth it.”
But, is it worth it?
I ask her “lets say it’s now your daughter having this battle at work, and the industry is about women’s empowerment/equality (where I now work); would you think about this differently?” She said NO!
Part of feminism for me has always hinged on the concept that Paolo Friere introduced me to: "The oppressed, having internalized the image of the oppressor and adopted his guidelines, are fearful of freedom. Freedom would require them to eject this image and replace it with autonomy and responsibility."
It is more of a responsibility and difficult to stand by the integrity of equality and inclusion, than it is to just ‘lean in” and “play by the rules”.
We won’t ever get out of this toxic patriarchal system if we all don’t actually live our values together in all spaces even when it’s an affront to the system. Maybe especially then.