What is the obsession around “sua loga” in our Assamese society?
I’m an Assamese woman myself, but I genuinely had no idea how serious the concept of “sua loga” still is in our society until I experienced it firsthand at one of my closest friend’s weddings recently.
I had been actively involved in her wedding preparations right from the beginning.. helping with outfits, jewellery, makeup artists, coordination, and generally being there so her parents could relax a little. Despite my own busy schedule and work commitments, I made sure to show up for her because she’s someone I deeply care about.
On the day of the wedding, I got my period. I was having really painful cramps, so I took a painkiller just so I could attend properly and be by her side. Before the groom’s family arrived, I casually mentioned to the bride that I was cramping badly and needed a moment to sit down and loosen up a little.
Unfortunately, some other bridesmaids and a cousin overheard the conversation and suddenly it became a huge issue. The reactions honestly shocked me.
People started behaving as if my mere presence near the bride would bring bad luck to her marriage. One of them even suggested sprinkling Ganga Jal because I had hugged her before the rituals. I was then instructed not to go near her or touch her once she changed into her white bridal attire, and instead sit separately with the other guests.
What hurt the most was that all of this came from young women in their mid-to-late 20s, not elderly relatives.
I stayed quiet out of respect for my friend and to avoid creating drama on her wedding day. I moved away, held back my tears, had dinner, waited for the groom to arrive, and eventually left. But honestly, the whole experience left me deeply disturbed.
I genuinely do not understand how a completely natural biological process- the very process tied to reproduction and creation of life can make a woman “impure” to the extent that her touch is considered capable of bringing bad luck to a bride’s future married life.
And before anyone says “it’s just tradition” or “niyom,” I really think we need to question traditions that humiliate women and make them feel untouchable.