New Dad
My wife and I recently had twins. One girl one boy. We were ecstatic since she wasn't sure she could have any. It was a long pregnancy into an emergency c section. Followed up by a 1 to 2 week long NICU stay. Girl came home first then boy a week later. Everything was great. I was worried about her getting postpartum depression but I was worried about the wrong person. This past week I have been depressed anxious and for the first time in my life I had a suicidal thought. My wife had been nothing but supportive but I feel selfish and disgusted with myself. I love my kids I do but I don't feel a connection I feel like I am just doing motions. Every night we sleep I get a small panic attack everytime I hear them cry or whine. Man I feel less of a man and definitely less of a dad. Please tell me I'm not the only one that this feeling will fade that I won't succumb to my own thoughts. Maybe I'm being a baby myself I still feel like im being selfish despite my wife telling me I do my fair share. Any advice, any words of encouragement, and or tough love. Thank you in advance