I've had Ava Grace for the past 12 years. I got her when I was only 20. When I first got her, I was just a young, dumb, irresponsible girl with no goals or priorities. Everything changed when she came into my life. I knew from the second I saw her that I loved this little tiny puppy (8 weeks), who was probably scared of going to a new home. We grew up together, she became my best friend, the love of my life, and my constant throughout these past years. I never pictured my life without her.
Everything appeared fine; she was eating, drinking, and playing like her normal self. nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Monday came, and she started vomiting and having diarrhea all day... she would hardly drink any water. I was able to get her to the vet on Tuesday, and they said she needed IV fluids, with nausea/vomiting medications. They did blood work and showed her gallbladder and liver levels elevated. They stated she could be started on medication to help because surgery was too dangerous at the time. 2 days went by, and she still would not eat or drink, and was still vomiting. Friday came, and the Vet stated she became more lethargic and ended up having a seizure, which resulted in cardiac arrest. She lived maybe 30 minutes after this occurrence. I wasn't even able to be there with her when she passed. It was so unexpected and happened so quickly that I didn't have time to process her loss.
Today has been 4 days, and I feel sad and like I should have done better, and I can't forgive myself.
I was able to hold her one more time after the situation, but the feeling of guilt and hurt that I have is unreal. I don't know how to live life without her or how to process these feelings.
the what if's and the I should've done more just tear away at me..