Top surgery canceled
Hey everyone, so basically my surgery was canceled March 26. I was a heavy smoker with both nicotine and weed. I quit nicotine on January 14, but I didn’t quit smoking weed until 18 days before surgery (I know I should’ve quit earlier). I have asthma and yes I know I shouldn’t even be smoking but anyways I had a slight cough the days leading up to surgery, it wasn’t nothing crazy and I didn’t feel wheezy but the morning of surgery I’m already there, have my IV in and I ask them to check my lungs out just to be safe and turns out I was wheezy and they sent me home. I don’t think I ever felt so crushed like that ever in a long time. Anyways it’s been weeks now since that happened and I still feel depressed about it, I am in the process of getting it rescheduled but the process had to be restarted all over again because my insurance only covered the surgery from January 1-April 1. So it’s been a long waiting game and honestly feel this has contributed to major depression in me, it’s like my world flipped and all the plans I had made just fell through and it feels like I don’t know which direction I am going in anymore. Because of these feelings of depression i started smoking heavily again and honestly feel more addicted than ever to the point where i want to cancel everything because i do not think I’ll be able to quit. I feel ashamed to be this depressed about it, it happened so long ago, is it wrong for me to feel this depressed about it? Has this happened to anyone else? How do I get through this and how do i motivate myself to quit smoking right now