F(27), M(29) Together for nearly 2 years, ultimately a healthy relationship, dates, communication, love, future plans. We lived in different towns (40mins) and had worked together through conflicts. He got very aggressive when drunk, which ended up with him being sober for 7months. Issues began about a month after this ended. But ultimately we had a good relationship. I’m just stuck understanding what happened.
Timeline
August - November
Told my friends he wanted to marry me, then got into intensely going to the gym. I was busy with work so didn’t mind. We always wanted to move to a big city and began serious talks to move July the following year. He was reluctant to speak about the topic, but still agreed he wanted to go. Still slowly avoiding the conversation more. We went on great dates, communicated, sex life was fine, a bit less but something was slightly off and I could feel it.
December
He admitted he didn’t want to move away, he felt like this for a few months and had distanced himself. We broke up. I messaged him stating I would move to a city closer, 30minute drive, he told me he wanted time to think about our breakup and us. He continued to message me and my friends like normal, after Christmas I asked where this was going. We then booked a hotel in January, after a spending a night together after bumping into each other in town.
January
In the hotel he told me he was certain on his decision and spent December moving on. I was distraught but we cried on each other all night, made love until the morning. I requested no contact, he broke it by asking if I was dating anyone. Messaged my friends saying he doesn’t know if he made the right decision, but needed to be alone.
February
I collected my belongings from his house, I noticed a girls bag there but decided to think not much off it. We had simple chats and I thanked him for everything and he thanked me back.
March
I took a 3 week trip to take my mind off a job and relationship loss. Mid March when I got home, he hard launched his new girlfriend, who lives in the same town as me, on his Instagram story. I unfollowed him on everything.
May
Start of the month he posted a birthday compilation of his new girlfriend on a trip doing the exact same things we use to do together. His new girlfriend blocked me even though we’re both private and I had never bothered her. I then broke no contact asking if he was with her before we ended officially in January or when I collected my belongings. And honestly how he could move on so quickly. He said he was seeing her in February when I collected my items but not in January. That he’d checked out for while prior to December and is not the same person he was 5 months ago and that’s why this has happened.
I wont message again, I just needed new closure as I thought we broke up due to distance. But finding out he replaced me 3/4/5 weeks after we officially ended has reset my healing process. My friends believe he was with her before January.
I wasn’t a bad girlfriend, I was extremely supportive, chilled, fun and helped him so much through his hardships with his ex, dad’s cancer, friends, drinking and rugby. Delaying my future for him. I wasn’t perfect, neither was he but i loved him for all of him, good and bad. He was my best friend, but was I even anything to him? I don’t believe this to be a rebound, but I’m just so confused, wondering honestly and brutally what people think as I can’t understand? Can anyone relate? Has someone been in my ex’s shoes?