Annoyed with the Cycle
I think this is mostly just a rant to talk to someone. I’ve been in the never ending journey of trying to make progress for myself. Which I have done and have a solid living situation and a stable job. Which are both things I know are not easy to come by so I have beyond grateful for that.
I am sick of the cycle of what feels like being good and happy and then getting extremely paranoid and ruining relationships in my life. One in particular had a lot of trauma and someone else who had a mental illness. It’s been such an important relationship but do to past trauma of the relationship I keep having absolute panic and what feels to me like getting stuck in an awful loop.
I think I just need to be able to talk to someone about it and yeah it’s endlessly hard when the person you always talked to you no longer can.